HITTIN' JACKS INTO AN EXPIRED CLUB FED

They say we’re all two moves away from being homeless or locked up. The goons in Steelsville would like to kick the tires on that second option. Founded in 1826, the crown jewel of YFS Steel City is also its birthplace. The majority of sluggers in the Da Steel have only devoured tales of this fabled estate as it was unceremoniously ripped from their loving arms in the middle of the night after a handful of outings. Wiz Khalifa explains, “Penns want to be in the pen. Precious few have experienced the ecstasy of launching one over the jaggerbush of barbed wire (between the sniper towers) into the old weight area. Yet the Big House always wins. Hastily erected fencing formed shortly after creating a corral for salt-damaged and gravel-pocked Nissan Sentras and Buick LeSabres.” Damn the man! If these slutboxes were chariots to conjugal visits that would be one thing, but a parking lot for water authority workers is an injustice. But injustice is woven into the very fabric of this ground.