COMES LAND-BOAT FURNISHED

Probably goes without saying but this field is by appointment only. This isn’t your dad’s par 3 muni where Gabby the beer lady flashes her “footballs” for Salem 100s. Try to roll up here unannounced (even if you survive the harrowing cliffside trek) and there’s a 127% chance buckshot will introduce itself to your man and lady huevos. Telemundo Weekly raves, “Deep within the mesas of YFS Worldwide's southern region lies a 10,000 acre ranch hidden gem. Cactus mezzanine seating, roaming peacocks, and soaring mountain vistas paint a masterpiece in vibes.” Ah yes, peacocks, what lovely and well-behaved animals. It continues, “Dew-kissed bermuda grass is enclosed by an arcing barbed wire outfield fence. The cherry on top? A Magnum PI prop boat resting directly on the left field foul line.” Deep puncture wounds and screaming avian assholes. Tops on anybody's bucket list. And before you start wondering why an easily movable boat-sized obstacle just destroyed your shins, simplemente cerra la boca and thank your preferred deity that you’ve been lucky enough to visit this YFS stunner.