ALOHA FROM THE SHITHOLE

This forgotten, needle-lousy rat hole is so clapped-out that the Parks Dept recently deemed it condemned. To enter you have to commit a B&E, sashaying between haphazardly placed barricades and an occasional bum fight. Zagat’s raves, “Ensconced in a small beach town, this flawless YFS gem boasts a left field abyss and a double-decker subway train that hugs the outfield perimeter. Albeit one of the more challenging YFS yards, the Ice Queen will sculpt you into a better player if you can find ways to make hay here.” Sounds lovely. In practice, the stingy seaward C-word is where offense goes to die. Nothing gets the blood pumping quite like a full slate of 1-to-nothing games. If you crave even more excitement, head on over to the neighboring Taco Bell, where diarrhea coats the bathroom tile like a Jackson Pollock. And yet… there’s something undeniably alluring about the Ice Queen. Seen through YFS eyes, this cavernous wasteland is nothing less than Mount Everest arching her eyebrow at your nether regions.