PACK THE JOCKSTRAPS AND NUT-CUPS

Somewhere along the Gold Coast’s boundless shoreline, where the tattoos are tribal and the shirts are XXL, lies a quaint industrial hamlet. Mob Wife Monthly states, “Surrounded by a chemical-soaked meadow peppered with numerous crotch-high utility poles, the Hole takes its namesake from a lone sewer ingress plopped in a small ankle-snapping concrete pool. Though you’ll be forgiven for not noticing as the outfield wall is like my cousin Vinny: anatomically blessed. The girthy York Field-esque monster stands at least 60’ high and has a striking windmill backdrop.” Neck-and-neck with the Ice Queen for the league’s biggest yard, the Hole is bonkers yuuuge. While you’re out picking up the gabagool, check out AXE’s new body spray “Cool Breeze Cancer” inspired by the Hole’s windmill. You will smell like a gaggle of geese took a shit in an Armani Exchange. When Gold Coasters aren’t taking side bets on who will be the first to grow an extra toe, they’re dreaming of that far-off wall, as just a whiff can sustain your glory box for years. Per aspera ad astra…